I have to admit it.
I have officially over-extended myself. It wasn’t intentional of course. I think it would be an ‘eyes were bigger than my stomach’ sort of thing although not related to food at all. I can’t help it-I am an activity junkie! I love having all my neurons firing at once! Well most of the time anyway….sometimes I need them to stop firing so I can get some sleep!
My schedule currently is:
Wednesday-work, CKPM202 group meeting
Thursday-work, Strengthbox training
Saturday-CKPM202 lecture, group meeting
Last week I woke up from a dead sleep at 2:00am and had a 2 hour conversation with the other half about prioritizing and where I wanted to head in life (a little too much for 2am right? My neurons are intense!). I felt like I had lost control, was spinning my wheels, and not getting anywhere. I was about to take my midterm in CKPM202 and trying to spend any spare moment I had studying. Work was (and still is) getting hectic-my boss handed me my first official ‘project’ and used the phrase ‘How you perform on this project will tie in directly with your performance review’ ….gosh no pressure there right? My pastor at church thought it would be a great idea to help me coordinate the annual food drive, and the minister of music wanted to know when I would be available for handbell choir practice! Yikes!
It would be enough to drive anyone batty, yes? But it was the 2 hour conversation that followed all these thoughts that really had me thinking….what exactly am I trying to accomplish here? Is it terrible to want to have all these areas of your brain going at once? What’s wrong with trying to be (for lack of a better word) “well-rounded”? I have always wanted the best for myself, have always put very high standards behind everything I do….but is it too much? What am I pushing so hard for?
When it comes to priorities, I have never been the type to sit down and make a list. However, since that conversation…I am wondering if perhaps it’s time to do that. Oh sure, I have a general idea of where I want to go.. short term and long term. But maybe it’s time to put the pen to the paper and-I have been avoiding it. Probably because (for me), once it’s on paper it’s real….
So I have started….in many areas. Writing down what I want from myself and comparing that against what is actually feasible (because sometimes those are 2 different things!). It’s not been easy…and I find myself getting upset/irritated about things I felt I ‘should’ve done when I was younger’ or that ‘I should have had THAT already’. Acceptance of myself and who I am has always been so hard for me-I have never been enough for myself. That 2am conversation made me realize that.
Maybe writing all this stuff down will help put things in perspective. Maybe it will make me crazier, I don’t know. I just feel that I need to move on this. Could it really be that it has honestly taken me this long in life to “figure it all out”???
Perhaps. And that’s just going to have to be how it is for now. Whether I like it or not!
How do you handle your priorities? Do you ever feel that you have over-extended yourself? What do you do when that happens?